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To all Paetenians (Cautions)

 
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vennb
Forum Moderator


Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 188
Location: Venn Bagalso

PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:38 am    Post subject: To all Paetenians (Cautions) Reply with quote

1. They were having sex when wife cried "Ancelmo, Ancelmo, Ancelmo"
Husband: "Sinong Ancelmo ang tinatawag mo? Hindi ako si Anselmo!"
Wife: "Gago! Ang cellphone mo, nahihigaan ko!"

2. Lecturer: "Who among you have had sex with a ghost?"
Farmer raised his hand.
Lecturer to Farmer: "How does it feel to have sex with a ghost?"
Farmer: "Ay, sorry ho, ang dinig ko goats!

3. After having multi-orgasm sex, husband asked wife: "What do you
think of my sexual ability?"
Wife: "You're very very good! Your friends are no match to you."

4. Wife in bed having sex with her husband's best friend when her
cellphone rang.
Wife: "Yes... OK .. Bye!"
Husband's friend inquires: "Who was that?"
Wife replies: "That's my husband. He said he is with you playing golf."

5. Wife to doctor:" Doc, my husband turned impotent 300%
Doc: "I know of 100% but not 300%... Please clarify."
Wife: "His can't get er ection, he burned his finger and he bit his tongue!"

6. A lizard fell on the table:
Guy from UP : " Wow! Butiki..."
Atenean: "Wow! Reptilla scincidae..."
Tiga Baste: "Wow! Lacoste..."

7. Husband to Doctor: "I need a vasectomy."
Doc: "Did you discuss this with your family?"
Husband: "I asked my children and they voted favorably 17-2."

8. To assist the Iraqis, a delegation of Philippine senators and
congressmen will be sent to Iraq to supervise the looting.

9. How many Iraqi's does it take to fire a scud?
Answer: 3: one to load; one to fire, and one to go home and watch
CNN to check where it hits!

10. Painter got tired of painting nudes so he just chatted with the
model when the door bell rang.
Painter: "It's my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!"

11. "Yung mama, sabi, masungit ka, kaya nagalit ako; sabi, wala ka
raw kwenta, kaya, sinapak ko; sabi, wala kang taste, kaya sinuntok ko;
nang sinabing cute ka, binaril ko na, kasi, pintasero na, sinungaling pa!

Thoughts to go by: Don't grow old filled with regrets for things not
done for words not said, and for love not shown. Life is too short. Do
what makes you feel happy!

Getting angry is actually punishing yourself with the mistakes of
others. So, SMILE!
A man who gives in when he is wrong, is honest
A man who gives in when he is not sure, is wise.
A man who gives in when he is right, is married!

Hope you all like it,

Venn
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vermad



Joined: 07 Jul 2005
Posts: 1181
Location: Jersey City, NJ, USA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 3:29 pm    Post subject: Good News about Oil Price Reply with quote

Reporter: Mr. President, I heard you've got a plan to lower the price of a barrel of crude oil!

President: Certainly, and I am sure you will be happy to hear it.

Reporter: Would you care to share it?

President: I have given the order to make smaller barrels.
_________________
Virgil G. Madrinan
Quot capita tot sententiae
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saida



Joined: 07 Jul 2005
Posts: 840
Location: Saida Cagandahan Dulay

PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:12 pm    Post subject: Re: To all Paetenians (Cautions) Reply with quote

oppps....sori venn....ngayon pa lang kasi ako nalilibang magbasa....nadoble tuloy! anyways.... i enjoy reading your jokes.
_________________
Saida Cagandahan Dulay
saida@paete.org
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vermad



Joined: 07 Jul 2005
Posts: 1181
Location: Jersey City, NJ, USA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saida:

Nakapag-impake ka na ba? I will give you one free lesson on how to make quote when you come to the US with free mango juice during the lesson, of course. Mang Tom, you are also invited just for the mango juice.
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

test
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