USAP PAETE

[dayunyor]

Iba ang PINOY!!!!!
PINOY CONTRACTOR ABROAD

Three contractors are bidding to fix
the White House fence.

One from the Philippines , another
from Mexico and an American.

They go with a White House official to
examine the fence.

The American contractor takes out a
tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil.
Well," he says. "I figure the job will
run about $900: $400 for materials,
$400 for my crew and $100 profit for
me."

The Mexican contractor also does some
measuring and figuring, then says, "I
can do $700: $300 for materials, $300
for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Filipino contractor doesn't
measure or figure, but leans over to
the White House official and
whispers: "$2,700."

The official, incredulous,
says, "What? You didn't even measure
like the other guys! How did you come
up with such a high figure? How do you
expect me to consider your service
with that bid??

"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000
for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the
guy from Mexico ".

The next day, the Pinoy and the
Mexican are working on the Fence.

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Joke
Q. What's the difference between
corruption in the US and corruption in
the Philippines ?

A. In the U.S. they go to jail. In the
Philippines , they go to the U..S.

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* * * * * * * * *

Q. What`s the difference among
Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and
Erap?

A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference



REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong
evidence, witness or suspect ano na po
ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "



"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng
eroplano
ANAK: Tay ! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo
ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"



bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa
paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!




TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose
Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino
at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po,
silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday!



ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound.
Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to.
Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "Lens Cleaner"


PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya
wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit ganito
ang kwarto ko? Maliit, wala pang kama
at bintana..... ha?
ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po
tayo...


Jun-Jun: Inay! Ako lang ang nakasagot
sa tanong ng titser namin kanina!
Inay: Very good! Ano ba ang tanong ng
titser ninyo?
Jun-Jun: "Sino ang walang assignment?"



Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?
Juan: Kuwadrado po, maam!
Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.
Juan: Pero maam, sabi ng lolo ko,
narating na niya ang APAT na sulok
ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?



Boss asks sexy secretary to a dinner
after overtime: Are you free tonight?
The sexy secretary replies: Sir, ha...
huwag naman, FREE.... Bibigyan na lang
kita ng discount!



Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang
katangahan ng kumare mo. Ang akala
niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng
pulis!
JoshuA: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh di ba,
uniporme ng abugado yun.
_________________
"A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind."